Saturday, May 23, 2009

My Skin is Crawling

EWWWWW! I HATE, loathe, despise, etc., spiders. I don't want to sound all girlie girl, because I can handle some insects, they don't put me into freeze- want to call my dad so he can come and kill it- mode.

About 5 minutes ago I saw a spider, and not just any spider, a cricket spider! I was going to put up a picture of them, but they are so disgusting looking, I don't want it on here looking at me (or you) with it's beady little eyes. Do a Google image search, you'll see what I'm talking about. The thing that makes them so bad, is that they jump- leap is more of an accurate description, long and high.

So I saw the beast, standing between me and the bathroom, and of course I froze, afraid if I moved, it would get away and then come kill me in the night. When I decided to use my shoe, I went in for the kill, and it started jumping all around, so of course I started screaming (thank goodness Spencer didn't wake up!) That's when I got the genius idea to use the vacuum, and I sucked it right up! The kiddo slept through the whole thing.

Feeling rather proud of myself, I sat down on the sofa, still too afraid to go to the bathroom. All of a sudden I heard this weird noise and I jumped up and did a whole body shake to make sure there were no bugs or spiders on me. But the noise was coming from the vacuum! I got a little closer, not too close- to be sure, and listened. I heard it again.

LIGHT BULB!

The cricket spider is alive and jumping around inside of my vacuum. I keep saying that to myself, over and over in a very calm voice, as if that will make it all better. The cricket spider is alive and jumping around inside of my vacuum.

Right now I'm as jumpy as a two year old in a bouncy castle! I keep thinking that there are bugs crawling all over me and paranoia has now taken over. [Insert body shudder] As soon as I finish this up, I'm doing a floor to ceiling house check for any other potential living things that might have taken up residence in my house. What a way to spend a Saturday night!

P.S. I wasn't always afraid of spiders, ironically, my fear went from 0% to about 97% after I watched Arachnophobia. It was one of the those rare times when I was able to convince my parents to let me watch a PG-13 movie when I was 11; and I have never been the same since. If you've never seen the movie, don't watch it, and if you have, then you probably know what I mean.


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5 comments:

Micha said...

I hated arachnaphobia!!! I actually closed my eyes until I fell asleep but I do have some horid memories of particular scenes that I'm choosing to not think about. Ick.

I've finally gotten over the movie-induced squeamishness UNLESS they touch me. I had a spider in my hair once and lets just say it didn't exactly help in the "acting like a grown up over a silly little bug" department.

Alexandra said...

Ewwwwwwwwwwww. Now I am itchy all over, too. Usually i am sympathetic to living things as we are all part of the eco-system and keep each other alive, but I am hoping that spider will jump around inside your vacuum banging its head against the bag until it croaks. Ok, I am going in the shower to wash the itchies off.

John & Michelle said...

I have a SUPER fear of spiders! My fear of them getting away before I can smash their head off brought me to spray them with strong hold hair spray (to slow um down) then smash the life out of them. Yes, the spray makes a little mess, but it's well worth my sanity!

Hayley said...

Holy crap... I'm gasping for breath... the spider in the vacuum... can't... stop... laughing...

I'm the official spider killer in my house. John's kind of a girl about them since he got bitten by brown recluses while TDY. It still makes my skin crawl though.

kbreints said...

Oh I am SO not a fan of spiders... though I have com accustom to kiling them.... I hate Mice more than anything else though... Just thinking of them gives me the willies!

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